I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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