that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
