i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
MIDGETS
????
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
