Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I will be naked everywhere
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
