The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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