he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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