I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
