so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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