one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize