Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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