with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
