butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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