id be glad to
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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