Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
