I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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