im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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