i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
