i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
