Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
