Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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