Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
