I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
