the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
