dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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