you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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