I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
