Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
