"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
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Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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