I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize