How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
