you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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