I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
