I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
