You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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