Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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