I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
