I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
