i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
