From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
