you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
