sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
