dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
