For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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