Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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