wrigley field is MILF paradise
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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