Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
that may or may not have been my penis.
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