It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
