It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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