no, he came in my armpit
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
