Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
