i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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