he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
