have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
