Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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