Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there's paper in my vomit.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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