I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
