Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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