bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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