Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
operation harelip BJ is a go
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
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i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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