Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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