I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
