last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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