Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
