The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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