I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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